4/21/2007
Alec Baldwin, Kim Basinger and parental alienation
all of the baldwin brothers are hunks, and i’ve always liked alec baldwin until i took a closer look at this mess. this thing has been dragging on for way too long, and both basinger and baldwin should shut the hell up. it’s so odd. kim basinger and alec baldwin are in this years long battle in the courts, and baldwin claims he’s the ‘victim’ of basinger…and leaves this message on his 11-year old daughter’s cell phone voice messaging system.
Sounds to me as though she either didn’t answer it when she saw it was him calling, or she didn’t have her phone on. Either way, does it seem to you that an 11-year old deserves this diatribe? It sounds to me as though Baldwin is alienating his own self from his daughter, without any help.
Apparently he’s blaming his behavior completely on Basinger and ‘parental alienation’.
“Parental alienation” is a catch phrase for behavior in which one parent seeks to turn the child against the other, often enrolling teachers, relatives and family friends in the drive against the “target” parent.
We’ve all seen it at one point or another; people who are so vindictive and hateful toward one another that they are insensitive enough to use their children as pawns to get to each other. This totally disregards what kind of potential impact it would have on the child or children involved, and in my opinion, it should be considered a form of emotional child abuse.
The bottom line is, you’re responsible for your behavior and if someone has found the buttons to push, it’s your fault if you’re responding like pavlov’s dog. It’s very similar to the bully/victim mindset. In schools, they often counsel the victim for responding to the bully when the bully shouldn’t be bullying to begin with.
In my opinion this is the case of two very narcissistic people who aren’t considering how their actions are impacting their child. They should both be ashamed of themselves.
“Everyone who knows me privately knows that certain people will go to any lengths to embarrass me and to disrupt my relationship with my daughter,” he wrote.
Neither one of them are role modeling adult behavior…I think they belong in individual counseling to learn about what they’re doing to that kid, and stop it immediately. But, that might get in the way of the book that Baldwin is writing about it.
Tip o’ me tam to Smokey
Jon Swift linked with Alec Baldwin's Daughter Is a Disgrace
April 21st, 2007 at 2:01 pm
His voice carried nothing but despicable rage, not that of a carrying and concerned parent.
To belittle and berate an 11 year old as well as threaten her is outrageous. Making this public may have saved her getting her teeth knocked out - or worse.
Alec has a history of rage and that phone call proved it. After hearing his rage on his 11 year old daughter it gives credibility to the accusations of physical and emotional abuse from Kim Basinger.
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:38 am
Alec Baldwin’s Daughter Is a Disgrace
I don’t care if Alec Baldwin’s daughter is 11 years old or 12 years old or however old she is, she is a disgrace and her treatment of her father is beyond the pale.
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 am
First of all, if you are a parent, we have all lost our temper a time or two with our children and said something that we wish we could take back because we were extremely hurt or disappointed by them. What Alec said was wrong, but I dont beleive for a minute that he would have abused her. A custody battle by itself is very stressful and traumatic for all involved. But if you have ever experienced parental alienation, it is more frustrating and painful than anything I have ever been through. If you could all imagine for a minute that you loved and cared for a child there entire life and then after a divorce they suddenly turn on you because the other parent is making you out to be something the child does not need in there life, you would completely understand. Having a child torn from you as a way to get back at your ex, is horrible and spiteful and ultimately damages the childs mental state for life. boo to kim for her behavior, and Alec needs to keep his tongue bridled while this most definate parental alienation is going on.
April 25th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
I am sure claims of “parental alienation” may be true at times and undeserved. However, in some situations, parents who are abusive and negligent use “parental alienation” to get unsupervised visitation with their kids when they should not be given that privilege simply because “parental alienation” is THE issue these days. When this happens… it is SAD SAD SAD. Regardless of how frustrated
Alec Baldwin was when he left this message, he should have been the adult and exercised some self control instead of calling his daughter names and calling her mother names. Seems to me he was practicing some trying to alienate his daughter from her mother as well!
Parental alienation…. whatever! Sounds like to me he is doing a good job of alienating himself. You know… if Alec will talk to his young daughter this way, it is no telling what sort of **** Kim Bassinger had to put up with when she was married to him!
April 26th, 2007 at 9:03 am
While Alec shouldn’t have said the things he said to his daughter, it’s understandable. I applaud him for withdrawing from 30Rock to concentrate on his daughter and his fight against the obvious parental alienation going on.
How can I say “obvious”. Simple. If Kim was truly being responsible as a parent, then regardless of what was going on she would encourage her daughter to try and have a relationship with her father by continuing contact. The fact that she is not making certain that her daughter is available for the scheduled phone calls is terrible and sends the very real message to her daughter that she can just let her father go. This is the wrong message to send and how parental alienation works.
Just my $0.02 worth,
John
April 27th, 2007 at 6:59 am
Remember in ‘parental alienation’ The alienating parent (possible Kim)only uses those words or scenarios that help them to further target the parent (Alec)for the bad behavior. It makes anyone upset that they would not be allowed to talk to their own child via contact blocking. If this is a case of parental alienation then it is wrong on the alienating parent part and it only hurts the child and should be considered emotional abuse from the alienating parent.
April 27th, 2007 at 11:43 am
I agree the tone and language used by Alec Baldwin should not have been used at an 11 y old child. After listening to him on the “view” you can only wonder how many other times this has happened. there is no excuse for what he said and he owes the child more than an apology.
I do feel for him in his alienation of affection complaint against Bassinger. Using a child in a battle of power and control is unconscionable. This game has been going on for too long and the parties need to sit down with their attorneys and a judge who is not biased and maturely come to a decision on sharing custody.
The public does not care what Bassinger or Baldwin feel about each other. We do care about how he child is being used in this nasty game-
There is no way Bassinger can claim she did not have anything to do with leaking he tape- the child’s phone is in her care, custody and control and ultimately her responsibility.
Lastly, hiring a bodyguard for the child in fear was a bit paranoid. She created this media circus now she should end it for her child’s sake.
April 27th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
I hadn’t even heard of Parental Alienation until a few weeks ago, when I heard about a virtual seminar called “Being a better Dad” that features Mike Bone, an expert on the matter. I for one am VERY interested to hear what he has to say about this situation. If you want to check it out, it’s at http://www.DadsInfo.com
April 28th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
The cuss words were too much, but I understand his frustration and anger. I think he has every right to go - line his daughter out. She was given instructions and she disobeyed. Of course, who’s to say how this child is talked to by Kim B and how this child talks. 11 years old doesn’t always mean “angel”. Hopefully, this child hasn’t become “a brat” which is often the case in the situation when one parent let’s the child do whatever they please, and turns them against the other (in my opinion better)parent. This situation is played out daily in many households across this nation. I strongly believe it contributes greatly to the hateful attitudes of children and the disrespect they show towards adults.
Unfortunately, when children are given the freedom to make decisions that they shouldn’t be making they don’t always use the best judgement. I think it is safe to think this was not the first time he had been shunned by his daughter. I believe that Kim Bassinger should be held in contempt of court for failing to provide parental supervision and make sure that phone call took place.
If the child is being allowed to make those decision then she needs to accept the consequences of her actions. Obviously, that is the case or Kim would have made sure she answered her phone - right?
I am not divorced but I guarantee you if my 11 year old did not answer the phone when they knew that I was calling - they would be punished for being diobedient(unless an emergency had occurred) and I would have some firm words to say and they would suffer the consequences of their actions.
Again, I don’t think this was an isolated event. If the daughter is getting to make these decisions on her own then the person who is supposed to be her custodian is not supervising her properly. If that kind of freedom is being given to a child by the custodial parent and the child is getting to make choices, i.e to answer the call or not, then they better be prepared to receive the reaction to the decision that was made.
A parent SHOULD be very upset when their 11 yr old blatantly disobeys them. It is not acceptable!
I hope Alec and his daughter move past this issue and can have a close relationship in the future without interference.
I also hope the Courts look strongly at Kim’s involvement in not making sure the “child” answered the phone when Alec called. Who is accountable for this child?
MAJOR REFORM is needed in regards to Child Visitation and Child Support and more stringent laws need to be passed regarding Parental Rights, Obligations, and Alienation. As unfortunate as this situation is, my hope is that the attention will result in a positive outcome. Laws have been changed and modified over the years in many areas, now it is time to modify the laws regarding all the issues pertaining to child custody.
All parents should be held accountable for their children. But so often one parent plays the child against the other parent in hopes of gaining some satisfactory outcome, usually either vindictive or monetary.
April 28th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
kim basinger is a ******* *****. i have a terrible terrible whoreable babys mom much like her that RARELY picks up the phone when i call to speak to my 3 year old daughter. this is a real problem and needs to be addressed as a civil matter with grave concequences. parental alienation IS emotionally abusive to the child AND the parent. it’s wrong, selfish, brainwash against usually the father. **** any parent that does this childish, selfish, mind game bs with their kids. damn them to hell.
April 29th, 2007 at 9:45 am
AS a mother who has been alienated from her two daughters for 8 years, I understand what Alec did. It takes a strong person to deal with the ploys, manipulation and deceit that an alienating parent will put children through to get to the other parent or to “win”. In the mind of the alientating parent the child’s ownership determines the best parent and/or person.
My third daughter has been abandoned by her father as though she never existed because she chose not to give into her father’s demands to chose him over me. She is a well-adjusted but sad at times adult. She is a well-respected, compassionate teacher. She is in a loving, healthy relationship and maintains an independent adult livestyle.
For anyone not familiar with this pychological warfare, please read “Ice Bound” by Jerri Nielsen and “A Kidnapped Mind” by Pamela Richardson. Also, I understand there are over 10,000 websites on this issue. Parental alienation has been called the most “incideous form of child abuse.”
Alec was wrong to berate his daughter. Kim is just as wrong to keep Ireland from knowing the love of her father and his family.
April 29th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I’ve been following this story ever since it first surfaced. The situation(s) surrounding my divorce resulted in extreme parental alienation to where I’ve received death threats from my oldest daughter. However, my mom has also been alienated from her Grandchildren and she’s 83! She hasn’t seen some of them in 10 years even though they live less than a quarter mile away from her. We used to walk over to visit while married but nothing since the divorce.
I had a great relationship with my son in Scouting all the way through Cub Scouts (I was the Cub Master) and Boy Scouts were we went on camping trips. This experience plus many other enjoyable ventures were the happiest times of my life. However, for some reason, even he too has pulled back to where there are threats. Some years ago I learned he was at Purdue and wrote to him. He didn’t have much to say but I arranged for my mom to visit him. The first time went well were he was very polite and seemed to miss her. The second time was terrible as he bragged about having a “huge trust fund” and after saying that became very rude towards making her leave. It was a 3.5 hour ride to see him and I sat in the car waiting for her to want to go home.
In all cases, were there was communication with my children, when asked why they don’t connect with us, they never replied. She just looked as through they were dreaming about something and had nothing to say. Mom and I felt that they were being heavily manipulated. But that worried me more since I know the family has committed murder.
I found my youngest daughters email address on the internet not long ago. I wrote loving email encouraging her to connect with her oldest brother who lives less than 5 miles from her in Indy. He is from my first marriage, is married with two small children and has always had a great relationship with my other children. Instead she went to the States Attorney and filed a request for an Order of Protection against me. What was surprising was the OP was first setup for 2 years then changed to 10 years! For writing loving email!
Soon I attended a hearing to defend my self which mom, my oldest son and I attended. Mom sat with me and my youngest daughter sat to the right facing us at a different table. She tried blaming me for touching her which I never did. This whole thing is more than shocking and completely ridiculous. I told the judge that if this is something she wants, she can have it because I love her with my whole heart. I added that already, her Grandmother, her oldest brother and I had been treated as though we already had a 10 year OP on us, so what’s another 10 years.
But there’s more!! My ex-wife’s family joined Organized Crime shortly after we married. I was in the family for more than 26 years and they often brag about the crime system as being “The World’s Largest”. They are in the real estate development business and have been laundering criminal money straight into property using Mortgage Fraud with big Banks for years. They’ve committed murder and attempted murder plus much more so after receiving death threats from my oldest daughter, I went straight to the police. This Organized Crime system is heavily involved in wide spread corruption which also includes many areas of law enforcement. Going to the Police for help has proven to be a mistake. In a way this often feels hopeless because I’m not only dealing with my children but also a huge Criminal system that includes murder and much more. I fear for many things especially that which suggests that my children may already be influenced to commit serious crimes. I also fear for my mom that she may never see her three Grandchildren while she is still with us.
If Alex wants help all he needs to do is connect with me.
Marty Didier, Northbrook IL
May 1st, 2007 at 3:33 am
After living this scenereo for years with my husbands ex-wife and their son I never knew so many other alienated parents were out here. All it takes is one vindictive parent[his ex-wife],and some manipulation of a young boy whom loves his dad and step-mom and brothers for the ex,Gwen to play the loyalty card and find “dad” replacements totry and sabatouge my husbands relationship with his son, When that would not work she made me the “wicked stepmom” i know that helped her to make her son think he was not treated fair by his father,but only his loving mother Her mind games now had him hooked.The real issue is all about loyalty and mom must manipulate it at any expense to the childs future with a good and loving dad in our case.How sad to do this to your son . Children need both parents to love and learn from,and the scars you leave them through your vindictiveness will come out in time unfortunately. Your boy does not need a substitute fill-in –he will always have a good father waiting full of love regardless of all the lies and damage you have brought on. other close relatives are very in tune to your plan and have let us know How sad we feel for you ,but so much more for what you denied a father and son.
May 1st, 2007 at 3:50 am
:shock::smile::???::cool::grin::idea::twisted::?:
May 7th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
When Alec Baldwin’s message to his daughter was broadcast it was sent out to fool the public to believe that he is a terrable Father undeserving of seeing his daughter.
What was really acomplished is that the Mother is showing all women who have custodial custody that it is ok to alienate the other parent and the courts will do nothing about.
It is ok to use the children as a pawn in order to get back at or antagonize the other parent and the courts will do nothing to punish the parent who is alienating.
It is obvious that this message to the daughter was wrong in its content and delivery. Certainly, no resonable person would advocate such behavior.
What has to be looked at is what drove this person to react this way? WHat were the course of events that led to this emotional message?
It certainly was not the first missed call and clearly the mother has been part of this alienation sceme since her own mother (the grandmother of the child) admitted this prior to the airing of this phone call.
The primary cause of this situation is Kim Bassingers Lawyer.
It is time to expose the matrimonial cases he has handled in the past and see if the same patterns exist in these previous clients.
Dollars to donuts this guy has coached Ms. Bassinger on how to do this. After all, there are two parents who earn much money and have wealth most likely well above the average family.
This is a run away money train for him.
Lets put the lawyers and their past history of propergating rancor between their clients on trial publicly.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
As a mother who is a victim of parental alienation as well as my children, Unless you have lived through the emotional upheaval of going through this, you have no right to judge!
My ex husband decided two years ago to pursue his first girlfriend. Thinking he would wind up with her and so much in love, he decided to contrive up a plot to move out and blame me. He took our 11 yr old son. Left our 9 yr old daughter and moved out. But not only out of the house, but against mine and the courts permission, removed him from school and moved out of state. For over 18 months, I had no contact with my son and he had no contact with his sister and that wasn’t by my doing. His father kept him from us. Oh he played up being the doting father and would tell our daughter how much he loves her, yet at 9 my daughter turned to me and said, if he loves me so much why hasn’t he fought for me? Why did he take my brother away from me? I made excuses and was told by counselors to NOT make up excuses for her father because she wasn’t stupid and could see for herself what was going on. My children and I were inseparable. You know how my ex got to my son? I punished him from using Playstation, my ex told him, come with me and you could play it anytime you want. He said this in front of me and my daughter, my son, being addicted to the games, took his system and smirked at me and left! Yes its that easy! Two years later, that child has been ordered by court to be with me and his father has refused to bring him to me. Two years!!! What is wrong with the system? They don’t do anything to make sure the parent is following custody orders or any orders that are given out by a judge. I am following the orders to a T and making sure to obey the law and here he is not following anything and making excuses he has no money to drive back and forth for visitation with his daughter or bring me my son. So You can see where the frustration builds and as wrong as it was for Mr. Baldwin to do what he did, it happened and I am sure he is as sorry about it as any parent that yells at their child. Parents aren’t perfect and worse has been said. We all do it and its misdirected and wrong to do so. So very wrong because its the ex spouse that deserves those words and the poor child suffers when that spouse doesn’t follow the custody orders.
I just hope that the laws in this country as well as individuals states change, and do so soon, there are too many relationships that are being destroyed by bitter spouses and children are only with us a very short time before they want to go on their own. How sad for us to have to spend those years fighting the court system just to be able to spend quality time with our children.
June 3rd, 2007 at 1:21 pm
i am looking for the new law that was passed in 2007 reguarding child support law in california. i am trying to find this infor because i am tryin to help my son. can you give me a web site to go too so i can print it out also child vistion my son is having the same problem mr. b aldwin is trying to see is son. thanks debbie palmer
June 3rd, 2007 at 1:26 pm
try this.
I am not a lawyer, maybe you should get some advice from one.
And I think Baldwin has a daughter…not a son.
June 10th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
I’m not condoning the outburst,just as I’m not proud of any outburst I’ve ever had with my own children. However, this sort of thing happens with everyone. Yup, everyone blows up at least once in their lives. It’s incredibly sorry when it’s at a child and that’s what Alec was in this case. I can say this though, the original poster has clearly never been on the wrong end of a spiteful, vindictive ex who is willing to use a child to vent their own hate and anger. It’s the equivalent of military personnel, that have never been activated, Monday night quarterbacking their counterpart who spilled their guts while being tortured. It’s easy to sit in your living room and be brave and unyielding. If you haven’t been there don’t be so quick to judge….
July 3rd, 2007 at 8:45 am
Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! lbnvmwrpcq
August 2nd, 2007 at 8:00 am
Having been divorced in 2005 after a long term marriage and with 3 great kids it has broken my heart tremendously to witness the emotional and psychological damage that is done to All of us due to dad’s severe Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Being the mom (stay at home, full time) as the target parent of this syndrome which is real and hurts more than physical pain-I would have preferred to have been physically beaten to a pulp than miss my children’s activities, be blocked from their scholastic activities. The ex (attorney by trade; ******* for real) cc’s my children (l7, l5 and yes, 9 years old) on emails in order to win their affections and damage and destroy my relationships with them.
Get this: we have a Guardian Ad Litem who knows about this but turns a blind eye and a deaf ear to this mom when I inform him. Each opportunity to include mom (temporarily lost parenting rights due to short hospital stay for depression) is thwarted and used as a tool of evil.
The delay tactics used by him in court to hold onto sole parenting rights for 3.5 years now are despicable.
This syndrome inflicted upon children by usually the mom (my case dad) is real yet the APA does not recognize it. Kids regress in behaviors, take drugs and alcohol, avoid the alienated parent they once loved and respected. All in the name of hatred and vinctiveness. Horrors.
October 22nd, 2007 at 3:09 am
Talk about parental alienation . . .
My estranged children–one a 43-year-old partner in a Wall Street law firm and the other, a 46-year-old PhD biology researcher at Harvard–have recently exacted their vengeance some 25 years after their mother changed their names and disappeared with them.
Following the death of their mother, they sued me for allegedly unpaid support, won their case because I don’t have a cent to defend myself, and have (quite legally) diverted 65% of my Social Security. They have left me at age 71 quite literally without even the funds I need for prescribed medications.
It may be the law, but where’s the equity?
For details, please contact me at: nativespeaker1@hotmail.com.
October 22nd, 2007 at 5:37 am
How horrible!
October 22nd, 2007 at 8:53 am
Where did all the anger and frustration in our society start? How would anyone think that cutting children off from a parent, grandparents and even siblings could come to anything but a legacy of anger and resentment. It’s like this horrible chain reaction keeps going on and on and wrapping each generation up into a realm of anger and resentment that gets passed on. I don’t think there are any simple answers when you are dealing with one party carrying irrational anger into a relationship that children are born into. But that is what you have when parents, because they are angry with a spouse or former spouse, use their children as a weapon. To pass on a legacy of anger toward a parent hurts the children. What has happened to you Michael, should never happen, I am so sorry our system allowed it.
September 8th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
As the alienated mom or target parent, I can tell you firsthand that parental alienation is real. As someone mentioned earlier, it takes a strong person not to repond to the tactics that the alienating parent uses. Frustration is very high for the target parent because all they want is to see their child, but the other parent does everything they can to prevent that. When will these alienating parents realize that they are hurting their children? They can’t and won’t because all they care about is hurting the other parent and are using the child as the pawn in their game. If these alienating parents cared for their children as much as they “proclaim” then they would not engage in this behavior.
Parental alienation is child abuse and I only hope that someday the judges wake up to this. http://parentalalienation.blogspot.com/
October 8th, 2008 at 5:07 am
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is described by leading expert, Dr Richard Warshak in his groundbreaking book, Divorce Poison, as a deliberate and concerted campaign by one parent to turn children against the other parent by bad mouthing, bashing and brainwashing, in an effort to alienate them and sever their relationship. Whoever is undergoing PAS between Baldwin and Basinger is also experiencing divorce poison and their life is a useful guide and rallying cry for the many moms and dads who are going through less public but equally devastating hostile custody battles and vengeful ex spouses. Co-parenting after separation and divorce should ideally be child centered with both parents promoting healthy parental relationships and putting aside their own adult, personal conflict and revenge.